Game 1, season 35. Bad Friday

Like Monarch butterflies, The Bombers tend to start ugly and become glorious as the weeks go by.  So it was no surprise to the passing cruise ship herd that the podgy boys in black lost to a sharp Stokes Valley outfit 3-0 on a public holiday when the pubs are closed and the ground is cement hard.

The match began in dashing fashion with a minutes silence* for Warren Moyes, aka the Ginger Mudlark, a Bombers original who has joined his team mate Gerry Melling in the stadium in the sky. There were few other highlights. Everyone toiled manfully but the crucial battles were lost in midfield, up front and across the back line.  The visitors from the badlands pretty much controlled the game but were only up by 2 at half time. The Asst Gardener had made a decent save or two, and the Bombers rode their luck.  In another contrarian universe, it could have been have 2-2, but that would have been wrong.

* actually 40 seconds. A second for every defence-splitting pass he made in 1982.

No-one who saw their third goal will ever forget it, or ever speak of it again.

The sun beat down, the ground was hard, Stokes Valley were committed and smart, the Bombers had clearly had an indulgent summer, Jesus was hanging on his lonely wooden tower and the pubs were closed. It wasn't 3 points lost so much as 3 points ignored.

Ross's dad was no help at all. Old Bomber BJM sauntered up and cursed his battered knees.

Someone friendly and energetic called Michael made his debut, which was jolly. Some were heard to say it was the 100th Bomber. Hard to say though. Is Mingus a whole Bomber or are we dealing in fractions ? If half a man plays half a game, how many games does he play in a decade ? There's no app for this.

Man of the Match: Zel ! He ran away with two young women before this decision was taken, possibly impressing the judges with this move.

Injuries bulletin: Brendon hobbled off with his customary 'tight' calf. Fish Boy seemed to be having a cardio issue. Ross said sorry a fair bit. 

Missing presumed dead:  Controller, Tiberius, Chromosome, Son of God, Sceatsy

Special mention: not being born yesterday, and knowing what full moons in April mean, Asst Gardener and JB bought some cold beer. Everyone drank it.

Game score:  4/10  a solid start.