Game 11, Season 35 Vaffanculo a cazzo carogna, a dish prepared by Rossimar

Upon 1st, 2nd and 3rd inspections McAlister Park appeared more zuppa (soup) than al dente.  Salvio (Gyles – sage) drew the squad into a cerchio (circle).After checking that we were badando (paying attention) he then proceeded to briciolini (crumble) leaving Arrabbiata (John – angry) to regale us with the reason for his pending early departure, his desire to find a suitable wench with whom he could inserendo (insert) his carpaccio  into her vongola.  The rest of us had nothing soggiungere (to add)

Brooklyn dominated early exchanges as they pasta ball at will through the midfield.  The defence like a good pizza dough was stretched, in places thin, but never disfare (split open).  Pinta (Roger) was our scudo (shield) on the right while Stecchino (Hansie – toothpick) tackled like a cotello seghettato (serrated knife).  Ciabatta (Nigel) spent most of the game mopping up while I (in the absence of Vespa) focussed on trying to raschiare (scrape off) the mud from my new boots. 

Midway through the first half Brooklyn began to raffreddare (cool down) and their pugno (handful) of chances began to prosciugare (dry up).  We regga al fuoco (withstood the fire).

Affumicato (Mark – smoked) began to scongelare (defrost)  and was having a serpillo (wild thyme) while out on the right Apriscatole (Carl – can opener) was struggling to separare (separate) himself from the zuppa and longed for the second half when he would get to run on the al dente side of the pitch.

Up front Pesce (Fish – fish) battled to try and dragare (dredge) up a goal but to no avail.

Halftime arrived and Vitello de Latte (Gene – milk fed veal) afflosciarsi (became limp) before leaving.  Earlier he had almost scored a pocco cotto (rare) goal.  Of the view that Brooklyn had begun to passerino (flounder) we were determined to throw the acquaio (kitchen sink) at them.  Goals were no longer facoltativo (optional)

The second half began and the decision to abbinare (match/pair) Cuore (Stent – heart), Jesus (Danny – son of god) and Liscio (Al – smooth) in the midfield began to pay dividends.  They began to regularly sciupare (spoil) the Brooklyn possession and when in possession themselves they trinciare (cut up) and on occasion even set the tovaglia (tablecloth) for their strikers.

Out of nowhere they scored.  Ciabatta (Nigel) took it upon himself to esplorare (examine) the reasons behind the goal and duly decided we needed to assodare (harden) up.

Medico (Doc – doctor) on occasion had the facitura (stuffing) knocked out of him.  Bruscandoli (JB – shoot of hop flowers) on two occasions should have been awarded a penalty after being tritato (chopped) by the Brooklyn defender known as Batticarne (tenderizer hammer),  but ultimately the referee was trippa (tripe) and we were to get nothing from him.

So up steps Stecchino (Hansie), who at this point was fair fouco lento (simmering), burst forward like a split Milza (spleen) with a wonderful consegnare (delivery) to Apriscatole (Carl) whose finish was that of a fine Grappa.  The keeper, who was more grasso (fat) than fagiolino (string bean) managed to get a finger too it but couldn’t deny destiny.

We left the field disgruntled and in search of a taverna serving fine ristoro (refreshment) and friendly torta (tarts).